Sex is supposed to be fun right? If you’ve been trying to conceive for a while it can be hard to remember that. The constant peeing on sticks, temperature taking and mucous inspections make sex more like a regimental operation than a passionate exchange of love. As the ladies get more acutely aware of specific times to have sex the men get a building sense of pressure to perform. Often it's all too much and their libido is suppressed. It's normal for men in that situation to have problems with erections too. A survey done by Emma Cannon, an amazing fertility acupuncturist, found that the patients she had who were charting their cycles had a third less sex than those that didn't. 

While I believe that charting is an amazing tool we should be taught from the start of our periods as women, it seems that it can be more harmful than helpful when you're trying to conceive. The only time I recommend it to patients is;

  • if they have menstrual irregularities
  • if they have an illness that means they need to be very precise about sex for conception
  • if they've never done it before and want to learn more about their body

If you've been charting for a while and are feeling like sex is timed, quick and unromantic here's some suggestions to put sexy back in your sex life. 

  1. Sensual massage
  2. Reinstate date nights
  3. Don’t mention when you’re ovulating! Unless it actually turns you both on of course..
  4. Stop recording your temperature and taking ovulation tests. If you’re having sex every 4 days and don’t have any medical condition preventing you from getting pregnant you simply don’t need to monitor your day of ovulation as you're cervical mucous will keep sperm alive long enough that they will get you knocked up as required.
  5. Make out more, sex is not a required destination when making out but could be a happy side effect. 
  6. Set the scene; dim the lights, put on a sensual scent such as Jasmine essential oil, turn off your phone. Spending quality time in each others company in a sensual setting will help you bond at the very least and may just lead to sex. 
  7. Have an aphrodisiacal dinner

Would love to hear how can relate to this article and if your sex life changes with these tips in the comments below. 

By Natasha Richardson

Natasha works with women who are struggling to conceive with diet, lifestyle and bespoke herbal remedies. If you're interested in working with her you can contact her through her website to book a treatment planning session. 

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